Free to play, Pee to play
Japan’s game centers are full of various games. Crane games, rhythm games, racing games, jump and runs and of course fighting games. SEGA had their own successful gaming consoles in the 80’s and 90’s. In the early 2000’s, the Dreamcast revolutionized the gaming market a little bit, but it was to early for most of the customers back them. Too expensive for the time, maybe. When in 2011 SEGA announced a new console, I was overjoyed. Until I found out, what it was. You couldn’t buy it anywhere. The only place to find it would be and still are the SEGA game centers.
First of all, I have to apologize to all the female readers. Unfortunately, this gaming console is for guys only. Not because the games are considered overly masculine or anything, but simply for the biological reason, that guys are guys.
If you still don’t know, what I’m talking about, it’s the SEGA Toylet, a gaming console, that is a urinal. You read that correctly. It’s a urinal, as in, guys do their small business in it, all while a sensor is measuring you flow and amount.
The SEGA game center that I go to the most often, right in front of Akihabara Station on the Chuo Avenue used to have 4 floors, currently they are only 3.
Game No.1 on the 3rd floor is creating a storm. The longer and harder us guys relieve the pressure, the stronger the wind gets. From a stiff breeze to a full on hurricane. The poor weather reporter lady has a bad time either way, as her skirt is flying up, even though she is trying her best to hold it down, the cameraman gets a good eyeful of the spectacle but Karma strikes in form of lightning into his bald head.
Game No. 2 on the 4th floor is the most interesting and the one with the most variety in my opinion. It’s a character analyzer. As you go, a very curiously formed bottle, fills up with various kanji and “water”. The time and amount change the result, as to how many kanji of which type are the most in the bottle in the end. They determine your character, with red and pink being positive traits, blue being negative traits. While a feminist and husband material are the good ones, trickster and abnormal are of course bad. I still get new results every now and then, even though I go there frequently.
Game No. 3 on the 5th floor in actually a battle game. You play against the person that went before you and the one that goes after you. A character is chosen at random from the system. It’s not a regular fighting game, in which you let fits and feet do their work, the characters are shooting huge amounts of milk from the nose, strong enough to smash the loser against the wall. The more and harder you pee, the more likely is your win. A gauge at the bottom shows, who is having the upper hand.
Game No. 4 was on the 6th floor. You were a little cupid statue and filled coffee cans. The longer you went, the more the background changed until Mt. Fuji in the background erupted and spit lava all over the place. Too bad, that one is gone.
Those games are funny, for us guys, free to play, and definitely a change in the gaming industry. I made it a sort of sport, to hold my bladder as much as I dare to, when I walk to Akiba and make it one of my first stops almost every time. You might find me there. If not, maybe you still find a good relieve in those games, if you take a break from gaming on the other gaming stations.